Weight loss never follows a straight path. Instead, it rollercoasters. Some days your weight’s up, some days it’s down, and some days, you have no idea what the heck it’s doing. And when you’re trying to lose weight, the same could be said for your mood.
After all, while making healthy changes to your nutrition and exercise routine can certainly pick up your mood over the long-haul, when you’re in the throes of actually making those changes, you can get pretty bummed out, or just really ticked off.
In fact, one study from Northwestern University shows that the simple act of exerting self-control can lead to irritation, stress, and anger. In the study, when people decided to eat a healthy snack over junk food, they were more likely to want to then watch movies with angry, revenge-filled plots. They were also more likely to report being annoyed by the healthy food wrapper, of all things.
Add in the fact that trying to lose weight often means saying “no” to emotional eating and “yes” to (sometimes painful) self-exploration, and, yeah, it’s no surprise that weight-loss mood swings are a thing.
Fortunately, they don’t have to throw off your progress. And, moreover, learning the right way to deal with yours can actually make you way healthier, both inside and out.
Here, five women share the biggest emotional challenges they faced on their weight-loss journeys, and how they dealt with them in a healthy, empowering way. Follow their lead to boost your mind and body.
1. Recruiting Support
“The biggest challenge to my mood was feeling self-defeat. Every time I had a bad day or a cheat meal or snack, I’d immediately tell myself that I failed and the whole day was a waste. I would then eat horribly the rest of the day. It would make me feel frustrated and upset. I am working on learning that one bite of something won’t ruin your whole day, and that a brownie doesn’t taste any better the more bites you take, nor is it more satisfying.
“For me, finding people I could talk to, share what I felt, and tell if I was having a bad day or even a good one was key. And, no, a spouse or significant other might not always understand your frustrations. So meet some friends at the gym who have similar goals. These people will give you real support because they are experiencing many of the same things. It is a really hard journey to go through alone. The journey never ends. Once you achieve your goals, it’s time to maintain.” —Heather McGovern, 40, lost 70 pounds
2. Sweat It Out
“My mood actually got a lot better during my journey. But the one thing that would get me down was when the scale wasn’t moving down like I wanted it to. I knew in my head that I was losing inches and gaining muscle—I was two sizes smaller—but the numbers just were not going down.
Now, when I’m feeling frustrated or stressed—I should note that I have two small children and I stay at home with them—exercise has become my vacation. When I run through the neighborhood, I zone out and I don’t worry about anything but me, if only for 45 minutes. My husband and I joke and say that running is my Xanax. He knows that if he comes home and I am already dressed to run, my day was pretty rough and I need to get away.” —Crystal Larson, 38, lost 38 pounds
3. Mindfulness
“My biggest challenge has been being ‘here,’ but wanting to be ‘there.’ At my heaviest weight, I was 245 pounds. I knew that I was exhibiting a lot of unhealthy behaviors and I wanted to change that, but at the beginning, I was so focused on being ‘thin’ that I was too stressed out to make lasting changing in my eating habits. I would see thin, fit women and feel like I didn’t measure up. I would feel sad and overwhelmed if I made what I perceived to be an eating mistake, like eating too much or binge-eating, and then I would beat myself up, leading to more unnecessary eating. I judged myself based on how overweight I was and thought things like ‘What kind of person allows themselves to gain this much weight?’ So much of how I thought about eating was based on my fear of gaining weight or not being thin enough.
“The key for me turned out to be taking mini mindful moments—30-second moments of stillness that help me to stay cool, calm, and collected throughout the day and therefore much less likely to turn into the cookie monster at the end of the day.
“By practicing mindfulness, I learned that I could actually observe the physical sensations that made up cravings. What I had previously thought was an uncontrollable urge could be boiled down to tension and other sensations in my body. And through observation, they dissipated. Every. Single. Time. I also learned a lot. For example, I used to think that eating chocolate or pizza made me feel better when I was feeling sad or stressed, but I realized that it actually made me feel worse. Clearly seeing this truth was a major breakthrough, because what I once thought of as ‘treats’ or what I ‘deserved’ has changed completely.” —Réshanda Yates, 35, lost 46 pounds
4. Planning Ahead
“Throughout my weight-loss journey, the biggest challenges to my mood were social events that I couldn’t or didn’t want to avoid, like weddings and family birthday parties. As sad as it sounds, I found it depressing to sit at a party while everyone ate cake, while I sat empty handed.
“To cope, I decided that I needed to plan ahead for events like these. I started budgeting in a special treat that I would bring myself, such as Halo Top ice cream. I would be sure my calories and macros were budgeted through the day to allow myself to indulge smartly. I only had to do this a handful of times, but it helped me from becoming down during fun events.
“Planning helped me reduce stress and feelings of overwhelm even outside of these social events. The weeks that I slacked on planning ahead were the weeks I mentally had the roughest times. Remember that, on your own journey, the emotions you are having are completely normal. Changing your lifestyle is a major life event. If you are feeling overwhelmed, take things one week at a time, one day at a time, one workout at a time. Don’t look too far ahead. Just have your plan in place and concentrate on what’s directly in front of you.” —Casey Larcome, 37, 86 pounds
5. Acknowledging (and Correcting) My Destructive Thoughts
“The hardest thing for me has been to look inward and not judge whatever little monsters are lurking in my thought patterns. It can be incredibly painful to engage in self-reflection, and to give myself permission to feel without trying to smother the thoughts with food. I still struggle with this, 50 pounds later. Looking within, asking myself to feel where my body is, what it wants, what it actually wants, and realizing that maybe that isn’t the quick fix of food? That’s so, so hard. Especially when you’ve been using food as an anesthetic your whole life, as I have. (It also turns out that I have anxiety disorders! Super!)
“Sometimes, the hardest thing is not doing—not reaching for food in between meals, or because I’m anxious or stressed, or because I feel ‘fluffy’ this week. To realize that doing nothing is an action in itself, and keeps me in line with my goals, especially when my anxiety brain is screaming, ‘Do something! Anything! Now! Restrict more! Sign up for a macro plan! Count calories!’ I’ve tried those things, and I know I can only keep them up for so long.
“Reminding myself of my goals is key to managing those uncomfortable emotions. I also use tricks I’ve learned in cognitive behavioral therapy: I speak my unhelpful thought, impulse, craving, or urge aloud. That robs it of its disturbing power. Then I say, ‘You’ve acknowledged that. That’s great. Now, how uncomfortable does this make you feel on a scale of one to 10? Do you think you can sit with that feeling for 10 minutes and re-rate the discomfort after that time? How about five minutes?’ When I follow through I congratulate myself. ‘Go you, great job following your plan, there!’
“My advice: acknowledge your emotions, don’t deny them. Give them space, speak them aloud, set them free from your head! Try to sit with discomfort. Even a minute at a time. Practice. The mental obstacles my mind likes to throw at me with food and weight-loss habits are so much harder than physical hunger ever is. If you can take on your own unhelpful thoughts, you’re winning.” —Juliet Fox, 34, lost 50 pounds
Originally Written for Women’s Health